The Shut-in Vampire Does Business in the Labyrinth - Chapter 3
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- The Shut-in Vampire Does Business in the Labyrinth
- Chapter 3 - How Am I Supposed to Live Without Garlic?
Chapter 3: How Am I Supposed to Live Without Garlic?
TL: DDTL
Ding!
The microwave finished running, but I was collapsed on the floor and couldn’t get up.
“No way…”
I can’t eat garlic…?
I opened the description window for my ability, Vampire, again.
[Vampire EX]
-The first vampire Progenitor to appear in the modern world.
-Replaces levels with Control Power.
-Sunlight and garlic are slightly unpleasant.
Sunlight and garlic are slightly unpleasant.
When I first read that line, I’d thought nothing of it.
I mean, how unpleasant could “unpleasant” really be?
Sunlight was fine since I barely left my room anyway, and garlic, well, I figured I could just tough it out and eat it.
And the thing is, I actually really like garlic.
Whenever I grill pork belly, I always grill garlic alongside it, and when I make wraps, I toss in raw garlic cloves without a second thought.
And honestly, how is any Korean supposed to live without garlic?
Kimchi stew, soybean paste stew, every kind of stew, obviously.
Meat marinades, fried rice, even homemade garlic sauce drizzled over everything. That’s just what Koreans do.
“So now I can’t even dip my pizza in garlic dipping sauce…?”
I completely forgot about taking the pork belly out of the microwave and immediately popped another raw garlic clove into my mouth, right from the pile sitting next to the lettuce wraps.
Crunch! Squish!
Sure enough, tears came streaming down.
The taste swirling in my mouth wasn’t the garlic I knew. It was something I’d never experienced in my entire life.
It was like wasabi and pepper had exploded in my mouth all at once, and the flavor was unbearably bitter on top of it.
Tears and snot came pouring out on their own.
“Aaaaagh! What the hell is this! What the hell! I don’t need this awakening crap!!”
I was living perfectly fine before, so why did it have to go and turn me into a vampire!
“No, this can’t be happening!”
I frantically took another bite of the soybean paste stew.
It was far milder compared to the raw garlic, but the tears still flowed.
“Vampires… vampires can’t eat garlic? For real?”
I sat down at my computer and immediately logged onto the biggest online community in Korea.
Title: Can vampires not eat garlic? Can’t handle sunlight either?
-Seriously can’t eat garlic? No way around it?
ㄴ?? did a vampire spawn in the labyrinth or something? never heard of one
ㄴdude vampires don’t exist…
ㄴthe garlic thing for vampires differs depending on the source material. but what do you mean “way around it”? a way to eat it?
ㄴOP: yeah, is there no way to eat it?
ㄴthat’s up to you lol are you writing a web novel or something lmaooo
ㄴOP: I’m being serious here. Dead serious.
ㄴis this guy crazy? lmao it depends on the setting, but usually the stronger you are the more those penalties go away
ㄴOP: the stronger you are?
ㄴyeah in most settings if you’re Progenitor-class those penalties are basically gone
ㄴOP: but who knows when that’ll happen
ㄴwell then just feed some ether to your vampire or whatever lmaooo
Ether…?
“Right! That’s a thing!”
Ether, the miracle substance that could grant any wish through the system, as long as you could find it.
It was the most valuable loot obtainable from the labyrinth.
Minimum value: ten billion won per unit.
Because the labyrinth reset every week, those who couldn’t find one might never find one in their entire lives. A treasure among treasures.
I’d never even considered something like ether before, but a reason to hunt for it had just presented itself.
Find ether and wish away the garlic and sunlight penalties.
The harder the wish to grant, the more ether it required, but my wish was just deleting a single penalty line.
“Yeah, one should be plenty.”
I could find at least one.
Other people couldn’t find them because they farmed solo. But I essentially had ten people farming at once.
Flash.
The moment that thought crossed my mind, the room lit up brilliantly and something appeared.
“Grrk?”
A Vampiric Goblin, holding a dagger in one hand and some kind of scrap metal in the other.
“What? You escaped?”
“Grrk grrk!”
It must have found an exit gate while farming and made it out.
“Good job. Hand over what you farmed.”
“Grrk!”
The goblin handed me what it had been clutching in both hands.
[Sharp Dagger]
-Grade: Normal
-ATK: 10
-A common, unremarkable dagger.
[Ruin Scrap]
-Grade: Normal
-Salvage from a lost civilization. Can be used for crafting or recycling.
The Sharp Dagger was nothing special, as expected from Labyrinth Layer 1.
The Ruin Scrap went without saying.
It was a junk item people usually threw away. Quests occasionally asked for it, but at this level, you’d just farm it yourself rather than buy it. Not exactly a hot commodity.
Still, I’d heard scrap dealers paid decent money for these things.
I tossed the Ruin Scrap into a corner of the room and handed the Sharp Dagger back to the goblin.
“Use this from now on. Don’t lose it.”
“Grrk!!”
Our goblin bounced up and down happily after receiving the dagger.
Come to think of it, which number goblin was this one?
Judging by the bite scars, it wasn’t one I’d bitten personally.
As I was watching the goblin, my eyes landed on the garlic sitting on the table.
The stronger the vampire, the weaker the penalty?
Then what about a Vampiric Goblin?
“Hey, goblin. Open your mouth.”
“Grrk?”
“Open your mouth! Say ahh.”
“Gyaaah.”
The goblin obediently opened its mouth wide.
I tossed a clove of garlic into the goblin’s mouth.
“Now swallow it.”
Gulp.
Our Vampiric Goblin, obedient to a fault.
No reaction yet? Was it fine?
The goblin blinked owlishly, its expression saying, What did you just give me?
“Guh, grrgh?!”
Its face went white as a sheet.
“GYAAAAH! GREEEK! GREEEEEEK!”
It grabbed its throat and collapsed to the floor with a thud.
“Hey, hey! Are you okay? Wait, it’s that bad? All I got was a few tears!”
“GREEEEEEEEK!!”
The goblin clutched its throat in agony, thrashing on the floor before going completely limp.
No way, right? Goblin? You’re joking, right?
Clatter!
The dagger it had been holding dropped to the floor.
Fssshhh.
“Huh…? Huh??”
The goblin crumbled into dust and vanished.
[A goblin has died.]
“GOBLIIIIIIIN!!!!!!!!!”
***
The goblin’s sudden death.
How was I supposed to know it was that vulnerable to garlic?!
I’d figured it would just get teary-eyed and snotty like me.
I was only trying to see how different the penalty was between us.
“I’m sorry… I won’t forget you! Goblin… Number 3!”
Was it Number 3? I wasn’t sure, but it didn’t really matter.
Thanks to the heroic sacrifice of our Goblin Number 3, I’d learned something crucial.
Being a Progenitor was the only reason I got off with just tears and snot after eating garlic.
For other vampires, garlic was pure poison.
A single raw clove was an instant exorcism.
“This is exactly what makes me look like a real monster! I’m not a monster, dammit!”
Why did the tutorial have me bite goblins and give them traits like this!
I observed a moment of silence where the goblin had disappeared, then used Thrall Third-Person View to contact one of the goblins still farming.
“Go bite one more goblin.”
-GYAAAAH!
The Vampiric Goblin charged off ferociously in search of a goblin.
Grief was grief, but I still needed to keep my numbers up, didn’t I?
Come to think of it, there was one more thing to worry about at this point.
It was nighttime so I couldn’t tell right now, but what about sunlight…?
For me, it would probably just be annoying at worst.
But the Vampiric Goblins would be a different story.
Could sunlight kill them too?
“…This is literally a manga character.”
I was reminded of the villain from that manga next door who killed people and turned them into monsters, all to overcome sunlight.
Man, I really enjoyed that one. The anime was a masterpiece too.
Wasn’t I basically turning into that villain?
[A goblin has used Bloodsucking.]
[Proceed with Thrall Making?]
“Proceed.”
That brought the count back to ten Vampiric Goblins.
I shoved a piece of cold pork belly into my mouth and activated Thrall Third-Person View.
To overcome the sunlight and garlic penalties, I needed ether.
The labyrinth’s ultimate treasure, the rare farming drop that started at a minimum of ten billion won per unit.
“Listen up, guys. If you see an exit gate, come out. If you don’t, search every inch around you. The target is a small white orb.”
-Grrrk!
-Grrk.
-GYAAAAH!
The goblins nodded as if they understood and scattered in every direction.
Ether was a rare resource, but it wasn’t nonexistent.
Exactly one existed on Labyrinth Layer 1.
The drop rate increased on deeper layers, but sending these goblins any further would obviously just get them killed.
They had to find it on Layer 1, no matter what.
Ideally, one every week when the labyrinth reset on Monday.
That was when one goblin caught my eye.
A single goblin, not farming at all, just standing in place and tilting its head.
“What are you doing instead of farming?”
-Grrrk?
The goblin raised its hand up.
As if to say, Hey, look at this.
Between its expression and its gestures, I could practically hear a voice.
Is this what you’re looking for?
In the goblin’s hand was a faintly glowing white orb, no bigger than a finger.
“Huh?”
It was ether.
“You… you! Get out! Find a gate and get out right now!”
-Grrk?
“Ugh! Find a glowing blue circle!”
-Grrgh!
The goblin headed into a building.
“The exit gate is outside, run around outside!”
-Grrgh!!
It’s not like I was writing code here.
Was there no way to raise these things’ intelligence?
My mind raced.
This was sheer, dumb luck.
It was basically the equivalent of a goblin winning the lottery.
But was it really okay to spend this ether just to get rid of the garlic penalty?
Something worth at least ten billion won, even luckier than hitting the lottery?
Wouldn’t the smart move be to enhance my abilities first, like any normal awakener would?
Just then, light burst from the room and a system window appeared.
[Incredible Achievement!]
[You have successfully escaped with ether for the first time!]
[Please set a nickname to be recorded on the server!]
Escaping with ether meant your name went up on the system rankings.
I turned my head and saw the goblin standing there blankly, still clutching the ether.
“Good job. Hand that over and take a rest!”
“Grrk!”
I took the ether and looked back at the system window.
The nickname field blinked impatiently, as if urging me to hurry up.
My mind had been so focused on the ether that I hadn’t had time to think it through.
I was going to stay in my room anyway, and my abilities were blood-related, so….
***
Korean Awakener Association Seoul Branch.
In this day and age, the most important institution wasn’t the military or the police. It was the Awakener Association.
The world’s attention was entirely focused on the labyrinth.
The reason: the barrier that prevented overflow from the labyrinth, and ether.
The barrier, maintained by magic stones, was the sole means of preventing the overflow phenomenon, where labyrinth monsters appeared in the real world.
The military could handle the monsters, of course, but overflows happened at random locations without any warning. If one occurred in a busy district, the damage was catastrophic.
Prevention was the best defense.
The Hunter Association spent enormous sums of tax money purchasing magic stones from awakeners.
It was essentially a national defense expenditure.
And the second priority was purchasing ether.
It was far harder to obtain than magic stones, but the Hunter Association devoted all its efforts to acquiring ether.
Because in the current era, ether represented power surpassing nuclear weapons.
These days, national strength was determined not by nuclear arsenals but by ether reserves.
That was why the Hunter Association monitored the ether rankings provided by the system at all times.
Twenty-four hours a day, without missing a single update.
“Yaaawn.”
An Association employee on night duty stretched and let out a long yawn.
His task was to record any changes in the rankings tonight.
There were three types of rankings.
National Weekly Ranking.
National Monthly Ranking.
World Annual Ranking.
All three were recorded in real time, but they reset at different intervals.
One Association employee rubbed his eyes and checked the weekly ranking.
“…Huh? What’s this.”
“What?”
“The weekly ranking. There’s a new eighth place.”
A new eighth place meant that, before Monday’s reset, eight units of ether had been farmed on the Korean server this week alone.
“But the nickname isn’t registered with the Association.”
“A first-time farmer? Damn, whoever it is must be on cloud nine right about now.”
“Man, if I could find just one ether, I’d die happy. How much is ether going for now? Ten billion a pop?”
“Ten billion doesn’t matter when nobody’s selling. The price is only going up from here.”
Selling ether would certainly put you on a mountain of cash, but there was something more precious than money.
Your life.
“You’d enhance your abilities first. You can make money selling other drop items.”
“True, fair point. If it were me, I’d enhance my abilities and go deeper to farm.”
“Right. Anyway, what’s the nickname? Gotta log it.”
“Um… ShutInVampLord?”
“…Pfft. Another chuunibyou makes their grand entrance?”
“It’s a first-time farmer, so we just log it, right?”
“Yeah, it’s probably just a Beginner’s Miracle. We don’t report until the second one.”
The Association employee added the name to the ether acquisition roster.
-ShutInVampLord: 1 (new)
***
The ether dissolved into white powder alongside a flash of light and was absorbed into my body.
———–
Name: Park Hyun-gi
Ability: Vampire (EX)
Thralls: 10
Control Power: 10
Ether Points: 1
Skills: Thrall Making (EX), Bloodsucking (SS), Thrall Third-Person View (S)
———–
The moment my Ether Points hit 1, a cascade of system windows appeared.
[Nickname ‘ShutInVampLord’ has been set.]
[This will be reflected in the Korean server’s real-time rankings.]
[A reward for your first ether collection will be granted!]
[Reward: Information Exchange Ticket (S)]
“What’s this now?”
I immediately checked the ticket.
[Information Exchange Ticket (S)]
-A ticket that provides any information you wish to know.
-The quality of the information determines the format of the response.
Would I ever even use something like this?
I set the ticket down on the desk and went straight to using the ether.
Control Power, whatever. Sunlight, I could live without knowing. But I couldn’t live without garlic.
I could always farm more ether.
Sure, I could sell it for money instead.
I’d probably become a billionaire overnight, but….
I decided to leave that to future me.
If ten goblins were out there farming, they’d surely find another one eventually.
“Use ether.”
Ding!
[Please state your intended use.]
“Delete the penalty that makes sunlight and garlic unpleasant.”
[Request: Delete vampire penalties.]
[Calculating required ether…]
It was just a penalty about garlic and sunlight.
Nothing extravagant, so one should be more than enou…
[Required Ether: 10,000 points.]
[Insufficient ether.]
[Request denied.]
“What?!!!”
I nearly jumped out of my skin at the astronomical ether requirement.
Ten thousand?!
There were exactly three SS-grade awakeners in the entire world.
They said reaching SS-grade from S-grade had required ten thousand ether points.
It would have been absolutely impossible alone, but each of them had only managed it with their entire nation backing them.
A rough average put the ether cost alone at a hundred trillion won.
But the total amount of ether mined worldwide in an entire year was only about ten thousand units.
Forget the price. There wasn’t even enough supply.
“Are you kidding me?! I just want to eat garlic and it costs ten thousand?!! Fine then, just garlic! Just the garlic at least!”
Ding!
[Required Ether: 8,000 points.]
“What the hell is this?!!”
I’d already given up on sunlight! What was so special about garlic that removing it cost eight thousand ether?!
“Then forget garlic. What about just sunlight?”
[Required Ether: 8,000 points.]
“Ha! Forget it! Just forget it!”
This was basically telling me not to bother.
Even a decent-sized nation going all out would struggle to gather a thousand, and the minimum was eight thousand.
That was when my eyes landed on the ticket sitting on the desk.
Maybe…?
“Use Information Exchange Ticket.”
The Information Exchange Ticket crumbled to dust in my hand and vanished.
[Please state your question.]
“How I can escape the garlic and sunlight penalties.”
[Checking…]
Gulp.
Maybe there was another way besides ten thousand ether?
[Answer: Get stronger.]
“You’ve gotta be shitting me.”
I’d used an S-grade ticket and all it gave me was “get stronger”?
Just garlic. But for a Korean, it might as well be everything.
“Fine. Let’s do this. Someday, I swear I’ll be sitting there smiling, wrapping a whole garlic clove in pork belly and lettuce. Use ether!”
[Please state your intended use.]
“Ability enhancement!”
[Your abilities will be enhanced by 1 ether point.]
[Outpost System has been unlocked.]
kannakanna
system is trolling 😭