The Shut-in Vampire Does Business in the Labyrinth - Chapter 12

Chapter 12: The Goblin of the Layer 2 Labyrinth

TL: DDTL

“Whew…”

As he exhaled, the stale air that had filled his lungs escaped.

But what came back in was even more stagnant.

“Maybe I should just go to the Black Forest instead of the Underground Ruins from now on.”

Labyrinth Layer 2. Out of the three fields that had opened this time, Cheol-ho had chosen the Underground Ruins.

The reason was simple.

It was the zone that best suited his strengths.

The most outstanding part of his abilities was defense enhancement.

His fighting style, body clad in heavy armor with a shield in hand, shone in tight corridors like these.

Few places to run, and few monsters rushing him at once.

The Underground Ruins monster, Animated Armor, only appeared in small groups of one or two, so there was no better hunting ground for him.

But being underground, the air was thick and stale, and that wore on him.

Just as he was pressing forward slowly, relying on the light of torches mounted on the walls.

Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap!

The sound of something running reached him.

Cheol-ho raised his shield and sword.

Footsteps he’d never heard before in the Underground Ruins.

They weren’t from Animated Armor.

Those always came with the dull clank of metal.

“What… an Awakener?”

If so, the only remaining possibility was an Awakener.

A fellow Awakener, a Korean at that, running in a panic.

The problem was that even other humans couldn’t be easily trusted down here.

Death in the labyrinth left no evidence behind.

Meaning any crime went unpunished.

This was a lawless zone, where strength was the only means of protecting oneself.

The footsteps grew closer, and a bead of sweat trickled down Cheol-ho’s back.

Tap-tap! Tak!

The source of the footsteps, appearing from an intersecting corridor, was none other than,

“Keh, keurk?!”

A goblin.

“A goblin?! Why is a goblin on Layer 2?”

Goblins were monsters that only appeared on Labyrinth Layer 1.

Why would a goblin show up on Layer 2?

The goblin’s eyes went wide at the sight of Cheol-ho, as if equally bewildered.

“K-keurk! Spare m…!”

Thunk!

“KEEEEK!!!”

Cheol-ho’s sword pierced the goblin’s neck like lightning.

A goblin was a monster. There was no reason to spare it.

“What the… I could’ve sworn it just spoke Korean?”

Must’ve been his imagination, right?

The goblin crumbled to ash and vanished, and Cheol-ho checked the loot that dropped.

A Magic-grade Dagger, Magic-grade Shoes.

And a backpack.

“…A backpack???”

Why was a goblin wearing a backpack?

On top of that.

Clatter.

“…Pretty heavy, too?”

Since when did Golden Goblins start appearing in the labyrinth?

***

[Your goblin has died.]

“Ugh! At least let someone finish talking… no, let a goblin finish talking!!”

That made six now.

Ten goblins had entered Layer 2, six had died, and four had survived to return.

The problem was that even those four hadn’t managed to farm properly.

The moment Awakeners spotted a goblin, they cut its throat first and asked questions never. The goblins spent all their time hiding and couldn’t bring back any decent items.

This was exactly why I’d wanted to negotiate with the Association.

Goblins were monsters.

In the labyrinth, monsters were targets to kill on sight and farm for loot.

“Ugh! People are so heartless. Would it kill them to listen for a second?!”

“Who would ever think a goblin could talk!”

Mongmo was perched on my shoulder, cracking peanuts with little crunching sounds.

“Then what am I supposed to do? This is the only way.”

“Hmph! Try persuading them better!”

“They won’t even let me get a word out, let alone persuade them!!”

“Then make them listen!”

“That’s what I’m saying!! Ugh… Peanuts confiscated.”

I snatched the peanuts away from Mongmo.

“Kyaong! You don’t mess with someone while they’re eating!!”

“No peanuts for a useless flying squirrel!”

“Eeek! What’s so hard about this!”

Mongmo hopped down from my shoulder onto the desk with a rapid pitter-patter.

“Watch closely, Master! A goblin is running around and meets a human!!”

Mongmo mimed running across the desktop with all his might.

Then suddenly, he flinched in shock!

“So the goblin raises both hands in surrender! And then?”

“It begs for its life.”

“Exactly! Please! Spare! Me! But the result?”

“They all get their throats slit before they can finish.”

Mongmo clutched his throat as if acting out a death scene, flopped backward with a splat, and looked back at me.

“So what’s the problem here, Master!”

“…That the goblins die?”

“That’s the result!! What’s the problem, the problem!!”

The problem? Hmm…

“That the goblins die before they can even speak?”

“Exactly right!! Our Master! Not a complete blockhead after all!!”

“The hell did you just say?”

“A-anyway, Korean is too long!! And too familiar!!”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Eeek! You are a blockhead!!”

“Mongmo, you want your peanuts confiscated permanently?”

“Hieeeek! S-sorry! Anyway, the problem is that Korean is too long!”

Mongmo, who’d been sprawled on his back, sprang up and grabbed a broken peanut shell.

He swung the shell around like he was wielding a dagger.

“The goblin meets an Awakener and says, ‘Please! Spare! Me!’ But the Awakener is strong! By the time it gets to ‘Please! Spa…’ the goblin is already a cold corpse!”

“Yeah, that’s the problem.”

“So we need to shorten it! Make it punchy! Something that catches the Awakener off guard!”

“…How?”

“I’ve been doing a lot of research on the internet, you know, Master?”

Mongmo waved his stubby little limbs around as he laid out his new plan.

“…Would that actually work? It’d definitely make an impact, but.”

“Guaranteed! Short and strong! Intense from the start! Make the Awakener go, ‘Wait, what?!'”

“…Then I guess let’s give it a shot?”

***

The Awakener community, which had recently been set ablaze by ShutInVampLord.

The sudden appearance of a newcomer farming four Ethers a month had kept the community buzzing with debate for a while.

The community had split into two camps: “This is a once-in-a-generation prodigy” versus “It’s just luck.”

While most people were busy debating about ShutInVampLord, another issue surfaced among the Awakeners.

The appearance of the “Golden Goblin.”

-yo i ran into a golden goblin in the underground ruins

ㄴlmao bullshit

ㄴOP : it’s real, the goblin was carrying a backpack stuffed with items

ㄴwhat? some kind of new random event?

ㄴrandom event my ass, OP probably fell asleep gaming and dreamed it up

ㄴOP : ugh i swear it’s real

-what? there’s goblins on labyrinth layer 2 now??

ㄴwait you saw one too?

ㄴOP : yeah, the second it saw me it bolted like crazy

ㄴthey’re fast as hell but not impossible to catch

ㄴOP : yeah i just couldn’t be bothered to chase it so i let it go

-anyone seen the goblins in the underground ruins? killed one and it dropped a ton of items

ㄴseriously? for real? why are so many people seeing goblins lately?

ㄴwhat kind of items?

ㄴOP : all junk items though, magic-grade stuff from layer 1. garbage so i tossed it all

ㄴlol then why even bother killing them

ㄴOP : still can’t resist looting tho right?

ㄴfair enough

One day, goblins suddenly began appearing in the Layer 2 Underground Ruins.

At first it was dismissed as a baseless rumor, but as more and more people reported encountering goblins, the stories only grew.

Eventually, the goblin appearances were confirmed as fact.

And so began the Golden Goblin Hunting Craze.

Sure, they only ever dropped junk items, but who knew what might happen?

What if one dropped something amazing?

What if one was carrying an artifact?

Or maybe an Ether or a special item?

Everyone rushed to the Underground Ruins, one of the three fields on Labyrinth Layer 2, hoping to hunt goblins.

But every goblin that was caught only dropped junk items.

Low-level stuff you’d expect from Layer 1, and the hype died down fast.

The resentful looks in the goblins’ eyes were a bonus.

What was this all about, anyway?

Some new labyrinth random event?

Then one day.

-i… teamed up with a goblin

ㄴ?

ㄴ??

ㄴswitching to the monster faction?

ㄴOP : no… the goblin begged me to spare it

ㄴ???

ㄴ?? what kind of bs is this

Out of nowhere, a few strange posts started popping up.

***

“Ugh… this is really rough.”

Cheol-ho was once again combing through the Underground Ruins.

In the end, no matter how hard it was, nothing was more precious than staying alive.

The safest field on Labyrinth Layer 2 for him to farm was the Underground Ruins.

The Black Forest and the Abandoned Amusement Park didn’t suit his strengths.

He could deal with some stuffy air.

Phew.

Cheol-ho blew out another lungful of musty air, kicked aside an empty crate, and stood up.

It was about time to head for the exit.

He’d been on Layer 2 for roughly six days now.

The deeper the labyrinth layer, the longer the reset period.

One week for Layer 1, two weeks for Layer 2, three weeks for Layer 3.

With the Layer 2 reset not far off, he needed to start looking for the exit while he still could.

Finding the exit wasn’t that difficult, at least.

Cheol-ho scanned his surroundings for the tallest structure.

The Underground Ruins, a place packed with stone buildings that resembled mazes in some areas and bustling streets in others.

Wandering through the narrow alleys, he’d occasionally come across watchtower-like structures taller than the surrounding buildings.

Of course, those were always guarded by one or two Animated Armors.

“Guess I’ll have to fight for the first time in a while.”

By now, Animated Armor was nothing to Cheol-ho.

He rolled his shoulders and walked along the wall. That was when.

Tap-tap-tap-tap.

“…Again?”

Cheol-ho had run into another goblin.

The goblin’s eyes went round as saucers the moment it spotted Cheol-ho.

His sword shot forward to pierce the goblin’s neck, and at that exact moment.

“DON’T!!! KILL!!!!”

He froze.

“…??”

“Don’t! Kill! Please! Please!”

“???”

“Friend! Friend! Don’t kill!!”

“Wh-what?”

The goblin had just busted out Konglish.

It was frantically waving both hands at him.

It set its dagger down on the ground and clasped its hands together, pleading desperately.

“Don’t! Kill! Please spare me! Please spare me! Keurk!!”

“Huh? Wha? Huh?”

His brain couldn’t keep up with the scene unfolding before him.

What? Was the goblin actually talking right now?

In English, no less? No, that wasn’t quite English.

It was something even more familiar than English, somehow: Konglish.

The accent was perfect, the unmistakable dying gasp of a Korean person’s English, thoroughly marinated in the public school system.

“Wh-what? The goblin is talking?”

“Talks! Goblin talks! Keurk! Me good goblin!!”

“…Huh?”

His mind was racing.

What was this?

A labyrinth random event?

With a blade at its throat, the goblin dropped to its knees, pleading desperately, shaking its head over and over.

“Me have nothing! Give everything! Just life! Just life! Keurk!”

The goblin hastily pulled off the bag it had been carrying and dumped its contents on the ground.

Items came tumbling out in a pile.

Most of it was junk items from Labyrinth Layer 2.

The kind of junk that most Awakeners wouldn’t give a second glance.

“Take everything, keurk! Me go now. Just spare me!!”

Cheol-ho lowered his sword in bewilderment.

An unarmed goblin was something he could snap the neck of barehanded. At this point, a goblin was no threat at all.

“Hey, what are you?”

“K-keurk! Me, me goblin! Good goblin!!”

“Good goblin?”

“H-human’s friend! Friend goblin!! Keurk!”

His head was spinning.

Should he let it go?

Or kill it?

But… it’s not like he’d gain anything from killing it.

“Please spare me, keurk!!”

“…”

After a moment’s deliberation, Cheol-ho clicked his tongue and took a few steps back.

This was a first for him, but killing something that was begging for its life felt wrong somehow.

“Go. Take that stuff with you too, I don’t need it.”

“Th-thank you, keurk! Good human, keurk!!”

“…”

What in the world was going on.

Was he dreaming?

But the goblin before his eyes was very much alive, fluttering about energetically as it tidied up.

In an instant, it swept the junk items into the bag and slung it over its back.

“Thank you, good human! Keurk! Good fortune to you!! Keurk!”

The goblin bowed its head and dashed off in the opposite direction.

“…What did I just witness?”